Why I Joined And Left The Military

For those of you who don’t know, I was in the military. I did 6 years in the Army National Guard. I’m finally out now so I feel I can freely talk about anything regarding my time in. The questions today are: why did I join and why did I get out?

Why I Joined

Family Involvement

I didn’t grow up in a strict military family. However, my great grandfather was in the Air Force and my uncle was in the Navy. In a way, I looked up to my uncle so that probably had some influence on me when I joined. I didn’t join the Navy though, instead I went the Army Route and joined the National Guard.

Serving My Country/Community

This is the most common reason people join the military. “To serve my country” is what I’d hear when I’d ask why someone joined. At the time when I joined I was very patriotic. I joined JROTC in high school, participated in athletic military events associated with the class, the whole nine yards. I was all about the red white and blue and wanted to give back to the country and my community.

Benefits

Another common reason for joining is the benefits. Paid tuition, VA home loan, cheap insurance, paid job training. The benefits are pretty great and a real motivator for anyone wanting to join. However, they do come with downsides.

Sense Of Purpose

I wanted to do something with my life. I really didn’t know what and the military seemed like a viable option. I simply wanted to accomplish something and feel a sense of purpose rather than waste away my life doing something I hated. Ironically, I did just that.

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Why I Got Out

Drill

In the National Guard, we would have to attend monthly drills which consist of a weekend full of monotonous tasks and menial activities. This would typically be 2 days a month but sometime stretched out to 4 days and then 2-4 weeks during the summer. This doesn’t sound like much in retrospect but when you throw in an already hectic work schedule, schooling, family and relationships, it becomes an inconvenience.

Didn’t Fit In Anymore

Simply put, the lifestyle wasn’t for me. When I first joined I could hang with the rest of them. I was all about the military life and I felt great about it. However, as time went on, I started feeling that way less and less until there was nothing left. I began to dread going to drill, often trying to find any excuse to not have to go. I just started to hate it. The end of my contract couldn’t have come soon enough.

My Mental Health

The military is mentally exhausting; the nonstop dread and not wanting to do it anymore really took it’s toll on me. My mental health was dwindling right before my eyes and there was literally nothing I could do because I was stuck in a contract. Depression, anger, frustration, hopelessness. I felt everything but happy about the situation I was in. This ultimately led to my bipolar disorder diagnosis in 2020, the same year I left the military. The nightmare was over, but it left some lasting effects.

Moving On With My Life

I never intended on making the military a career to begin with. It was something I wanted to do until I figured something else out. Initially, I wanted them to pay for my schooling but my mental health prevented me from attending school due to lack of ambition and motivation. Now that I’m out, I can focus on what matters: me. I can now make the choices I want and do what I want with my life. 6 years of feeling restrained and held back. I’m finally free.

Conclusion

I can’t say whether or not I regret joining in the first place. Yeah, it made me who I am today, but maybe that’s not such a good thing.