Demoralized

I’ve become demoralized,
I’ve lost all ambition.
I’ve come to realize,
I’ve succumbed to submission.

I use to dream big,
Now my dreams are just dreams.
A hole of self-destruction I dig,
As my mind bursts at the seams.

I wanted to be a wrestler as a kid,
I wanted that fame and glory.
Now I want to fall off the grid,
Put an end to this story.

That’s the demon talking,
He likes to chime in.
I can feel him stalking,
Haunting me time and time again.

Where did he spawn from,
I often question.
Why does he make me feel glum,
Wallowing in depression.

It’s a passing phase,
Yet it’s reoccurring.
I have to save face,
Before, after, and during.

I can’t let my family in,
They’ll think less of me.
They don’t know where my mind’s been,
They don’t know of the times I’ve had to plea.

My demon would traumatize them,
With the secrets he’d share.
To my family I’d be condemned,
As they sit and inevitably stare.

One day I’ll get there,
That state of peace.
For now I’ll say a prayer,
That this pain will cease.

– The Bipolar Gamer

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